I read a post by a favourite artist of mine recently about managing time, focus, and implementing changes (read Valentina’s post). As a WAHM (work at home Mum), striking a balance between work (art and web design), and looking after my family and home etc, is a constant struggle, and I am beginning to wonder if I am ever going to be able to get it right.
Like Valentina, I too am obsessive in some of my tendencies (curious is it not how many artists suffer from some level of OCD). My dependency on the Internet is one of them. I spend way too much time online not actually doing anything at all. My obsessive refreshing to see if anyone has posted, replied, commented, emailed etc, is a problem. My need to keep logging in, just in case I am missing anything is another. I have even hidden my laptop from myself (like I would EVER forget where it is), in an effort sometimes to divorce myself.
Of course, I recognise that being online for me is a means of stress relief. I don’t drink, ever. I stopped smoking in the mid 90s’, and suppose that being online is my dependency. Also, it’s a case of reaching out to my ‘community’. In a society where our community is now so fragmented, we all need to reach out and connect. Despite being a solitary creature by nature, I do at times get lonely, and being online fills a need.
But, as for my home life…I never, ever feel like I catch up with the constant, repetitive and never ending toil of housework, washing, cooking etc. And the most important person in my life sometimes suffers for all this, my beloved daughter, who is the love of my life. So, am constantly feeling guilty that she is not getting enough of my time and attention. Ditto that of my best friend and lover, my husband Luke (who bless him, never complains). I am constantly tired, all the time. You try running around after an active and precocious six year old in your mid forties!
Lastly, I am JUST NOT working enough, I am not productive enough, and am constantly frustrated as a result, and incredibly angry with my own apathy. Plus which, having to manage my constant worry about ‘age’ and trying to play ‘catch up’. Everyone seems so much younger than me, cooler than me, etc, etc, etc. I worry all the time about achieving as much as I can before it’s ‘too late’, whatever the fuck ‘too late’ means. Christ, I am not even that old…only in my forties. But, it’s part of my obsessive nature that I worry constantly about the march of time, and what ‘time’ I have left.
So, having purged myself of some of my angst. I suppose the next logical step is to try and find ways to manage my time better, and construct a more effective working methodology. Do I need to resort to using the techniques I applied in the business world? Create a Gantt Chart!? The mind boggles. I guess a good way to start at least, is to create a simple schedule, and try to stick to it. So, yes, I will do that…and let you know how I get on!
See you on the flip side…
I heard a great tip to help with time management the other day… if only I could bring myself to follow it 😉
The tip is to write a to do list each day in no particular order, just as each item occurs to you. then work through the list in the order you have written them down. The idea is that you can’t cherry pick the easiest tasks or procrastinate over the things that you don’t want to do so you just get on and get them out of the way and then you realise that they weren’t nearly the obsticle you had made them up to be.
The problem is that I enjoy procrastination to an extent. I may get to the end of the day feeling that I have not acheived anything and feeling generally angry with myself for wasting the time, but in the moment anything becomes preferable to that task…the one you have been putting off. And when it comes to producing something creative, most people’s minds just don’t work to order in that way!
Well now, the suggestions in the first paragaph seem an excellent suggestion, but I know I would never stick to them in a million years. I would cheat in the order I wrote them down, or ignore the order altogether and then feel guitly about it.
The second paragraphy sums me up totally!
You are way too hard on yourself Lorrie.Stop watching the clock in regards to your age….40’s phht…if you think like this now what will you be thinking in your 50’s.I know….”to think I was worrying about getting older and running out of time what a waste of TIME that was” STOP and take a breath and learn the ART of living in the moment.In short BE HERE NOW!!
Awww Vicki, wise words indeed, and I know it to be true. Fact is I am closer to my 50s than I would readily admit. I don’t mind that so much, growing older I mean. I worry about having enough time. I know that makes no sense. But I can’t explain it any other way.
It’s a tricky time in ones life, anf much of my mood is dictated by tiredness. Anyway, words taken on board and will give myself a good slap and move on…
Oh, I recognise myself in so much of what you’ve said! Lately I’ve come to realise that I have rather unrealistic expectations of how much I can achieve in one day… actually adding up what I have done rather than what I haven’t is a help. And let’s face it, lots of the things that get shunted from list to list are time consuming and just plain boring to do 😉 For those, the do-it-for-10-minutes-and-stop approach really works for me.
(I’m officially late 40s now btw 😉 )
I think this post resonates with many of us sadly. Interestingly, the stop and go approach works for me too. As I am unable to sit and draw for as many hours as I used to, I find that working, then doing something completely different, like tidying works very well. Gives that half of the brain time to rest for a bit…
Okay, I’m not in my forties yet… but I still understand how difficult it is trying to work from home, produce art in a timely manner, blog, do the social networking thing, all while managing children.
I have two toddlers running around my legs constantly. The nine-year-old does an adequate job of keeping them occupied… when she’s home from school and “in the mood” to play with them. 😛
I’ve been fairly productive in “real jobs” with creating To-Do lists, but my life/work balance at home is complete chaos. Nothing ever goes according to plan.
But somehow people manage it… very structured, organized people. LOL
I follow a woman who home-schools her SIX children, and she manages to get everything done. She swears by a master schedule. Hmmmph.
Now see Tara, those people are despicable and exist only to make us feel bad about ourselves!!!! 😉
Yeaaah, same story. When I worked in business I was incredibly organised and efficient and had all sorts of procedures and methods for organising and prioritising, I even have qualificiations in this stuff, but can I apply it to my own life these days? Nope…
Anyway, I shall continue to try. I definitely think that spending time online though necessary is one of the things that is sucking at my creativity, and really need to find a way to manage that.